Escaping the Grasp of French Flu
Last week, I bid farewell to the City of Love with more than just cherished memories. Alas, I returned home burdened with a formidable case of French flu. This potent strain has held me captive in my bed for the past week, nursing my aching body and self-medicating with a concoction of Lemsip, zinc, vitamin C, and Traitors. However, this bout of illness did have its silver lining – it spared me from enduring the arduous final days of January.
But fear not, for I have emerged from my sickly cocoon just in time for the arrival of February. With luck, this early encounter with the flu will ensure a flu-free year ahead. Good riddance, January – the longest, darkest, and windiest month known to man. At times, it felt as if I had stumbled into a new season of True Detective, such was its bleakness.
Oscar Snubs and Hollywood Controversies
Amidst the gloomy January haze, spare a thought for Greta Gerwig. The talented actress found herself reeling from what many consider the worst snub in Oscar history. Despite my personal distaste for Barbie, I cannot help but share her bewilderment at Hollywood’s baffling decision. Hamish MacBain delves deep into the Academy’s questionable nominations on page 8, exposing their peculiar unpopularity.
Raff Law: Stepping into the Spotlight
This week’s cover star, Raff Law, is poised for a life-altering 2024. With the release of the Second World War epic, Masters of the Air, Raff takes center stage, shedding the shadow of his famous father. Not only will he solidify his position as a leading man, but he may also ignite an army surplus craze reminiscent of bygone eras. Prepare for the unexpected, as we delve into Raff Law’s journey on page 20.
Gen Z and Latin-Speaking Catholicism
In a world where the unimaginable becomes reality, it seems that Gen Z has adopted the esoteric practice of full Latin-speaking Catholicism. Yes, you heard that right. Turn to page 20 to discover the details of this intriguing phenomenon. What could possibly come next? Taylor Swift for President? Count me in.